The Disadvantages of Being a Christian

For the past 5 years, i have been introduced, participated and believing in God; just as simple and naive as how a child would follow what is said to be good. There are times, many times when i wanted to accept Christ openly by saying the Lord's Acceptance Prayer; but not only until yesterday after Andrew gave his last sms, quote:

"FOOTPRINTS.. That's my poem for you... ... If I can, I would do what Jesus do.. But I believe he is more suitbale to carry by the beach.. I would be the one watching from the side.. Being there for you even if I am not the person carrying you..."

I was touched to tears, and have a deep sleep which led me to a dream which i will not disclose here.

The dreamt seemed to woke me up from my reality, ironic as it may sound or is it the post Inception effect; instead of feelig light cuz Jesus is carrying me, i felt burdened and my heart is gasping for air. Then i got the news that 2 friends who were so passionately active in Church decided to quit church. Be it i'm easily influenced or is it a wake up call; I have the urge to unchain the cross necklace as suddenly it felt SO SO HEAVY.

The resposibilities of being a christian,the commandments to abide, the promises,the words; all of those which i previously are proud of to share with others and serve as my life guide, seems 'not healthy' to my soul. It's evil, it shed and ripped my emotions and heart apart. Even the physical bruise and cut i got yesterday felt nothing compared the disappointment and emptiness im enduring.

Therefore, i googled this:

III-2. THE DISADVANTAGES OF BEING A CHRISTIAN(John 15:19; 16:2,4).

We talk about the joys of salvation. We talk about the blessings of discipleship. We talk about the advantages of being a Christian. There is another side to this, however, and to be absolutely honest, we must present it. There are limitations in salvation. There are demands in discipleship. There are disadvantages in being a Christian.

This may sound like a sacrilegious paradox, but it's not! Christ, himself, emphasized the requirements more than he did the benefits. He said devotion costs. "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up His cross and follow me" (Mark 8:34).

As Christians, we have to be better than average. As Christians, we must outlive the ordinary person. As Christians, we can't just continue doing what feels good. As Christians, we've moved beyond the natural realm. We're in the "spiritual" realm and thus more is expected of us. Jesus said, "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked" (Luke 12:48b, NIV).

So, what are the disadvantages of being a Christian?

I. FIRST, SELFISHNESS IS OUT.

You see, it's "natural" to be selfish, but as Christians, we no longer have that option. Jesus said, "I seek not to please myself but him who sent me" (John 5:30).

Looking out for "Number One" may be human nature. Self-preservation may be based on instinct. Nevertheless, as Christians we must have higher ideals. John said, "Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers" (I John 3:16).

1. We can't be egotistical. Paul said, "Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves" (Rom. 15:1).

2. We can't be insensitive. John said, "But whoever has the world's goods, and beholds his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?" (I John 3:17).

3. We can't be unconcerned. Paul said, "Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others" (Phil. 2:4).

4. We can't be greedy. Paul said, "Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor" (I Cor. 10:24).

5. We can't be envious. Paul said, "Love is . . . not jealous . . ." (I Cor. 13:4).

6. We can't be self-righteous. John said, "If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us . . ." (I John 1:8).

7. We can't always be popular. Jesus said, "Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for in the same way their fathers used to treat the false prophets" (Luke 6:26).

So you see, as Christians we can't choose our occupations by income alone. We can't vote our pocketbooks. We can't feather our own nests at the expense of others. Selfishness is out. That's one of the disadvantages of being a Christian.

II. SECOND, DEFENSIVENESS IS OUT.

Now, it's "natural" to be defensive, but as Christians we no longer have that option. Jesus said, "Do not resist him who is evil; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also" (Matt. 5:39).

Paul said, "See that no one repays another with evil for evil . . ." (I Thess
. 5:15).

Being reactionary is sinful. Some people are unbelievably touchy. They're like the rhinoceros. They say this belligerent animal can smell and hear quite well, but it can't see clearly. Therefore it takes no chances and immediately charges anything that comes near, be it human, animal or tank. Some people are like that.

The porcupine is another defensive animal. It has needle sharp quills and it uses them. It may be true that the porcupine is never kicked, but then again, it's never hugged either!

Yes, it's "natural" to be defensive. Lashing out and hitting back may be automatic responses. Protecting ourselves and blaming others may be normal behavior. Nevertheless, as Christians, we must be different:

1. We can't be negative. Paul said, "Whatever is true . . . whatever is of good repute . . . let your mind dwell on these things" (Phil. 4:8).

2. We can't be critical. "Malign no one . . . be uncontentious, gentle . . ." (Titus 3:2).

If you were given a dollar for every kind word, and charged a dollar for every critical word, would you be rich or poor? Think about it!

3. We can't gossip. "Do not speak against one another . . ." (James 4:11).

4. We can't be judgmental. "Do not judge lest you be judged" (Matt. 7:1).

None of us are qualified to judge. Only God knows all the circumstances.

5. We can't hate. "But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you" (Matt. 5:44).

6. We can't retaliate. "Let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit" (I Peter 3:8-9).

7. We can't get even. "Never pay back evil for evil to anyone" (Rom. 12:17).

You've heard, "Don't get mad, get even!" Well that's impossible and totally unproductive. An eye for an eye doesn't restore sight. It simply blinds two men. Revenge never makes things better. It always makes things worse.

We can't justify our actions by saying, "Well, he had it coming." We must operate by the principle of mercy.

A native accompanied a missionary on a trip, but he totally refused to accept the Gospel. On the way, they had car trouble and tried frantically to wave down a passing truck, but to no avail. Finally, the missionary got the car started, and they had not gone far when they came upon the stalled truck with the two men who had failed to help them. The native was ecstatic, "Now, we can pay those fellows back. They passed us up and we'll pass them up." "Oh, no," the missionary said. "We must stop and help them."

After they had given aid and were on their way again, the native said to the missionary, "Sir, I begin to understand. Your Gospel is about a Christ who came to help not just his friends, but his enemies."

Yes, forgiveness is required. Defensiveness is out. That's another disadvantage of being a Christian.

III. THIRD, MEDIOCRITY IS OUT.

It's "natural" to be mediocre; but as Christians we no longer have that option. Paul said, "Be devoted . . . not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord" (Rom. 12:10-11).

John said, "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; . . . I will (spew) you out of My mouth" (Rev. 3:15, 16).

Being only fair or "so-so" is sinful. Once, some of Teddy Roosevelt's supporters called him a great, extra-ordinary man. He objected, "Oh, no! I'm not a great extra-ordinary man. I'm just a plain, ordinary man, highly motivated."

Yes, it's natural to be mediocre. Inertia is a principle of the physical world. Even water runs downhill. Laziness is a constant temptation of mankind. Nevertheless, as Christians we must overcome these tendencies.

1. We can't be complacent. "Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:27).

2. We can't be half-hearted. "No servant can serve two masters; . . . he will hate the one, and love the other . . ." (Luke 16:13).

3. We can't be apathetic. Paul said, "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men" (Col. 3:23).

We can't just look the other way.

4. We can't be uninvolved. Paul said, "For we are God's fellow workers . . ." (I Cor. 3:9).
5. We can't, just go along. Paul said, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind . . ." (Rom. 12:2).

6. We can't be careless. John said, "The one who says, `I have come to know Him,' and does not keep His commandments, is a liar . . ." (I John 2:4).

7. We can't be unethical. John said, "Anyone who . . . does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God" (II John 9).

So, you see, as Christians, we can't be clock watchers. We can't give the least effort for the most returns. The needs are great. Excellence is in. Mediocrity is out. That's another disadvantage of being a Christian.

Yes, indeed, being a Christian can really put a cramp in your style. Jesus said, "But I say to you . . . love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If you just love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. But love your enemies, and do good . . . and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. And do not judge and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned" (Luke 6:27-37).

We constantly emphasize the blessings of salivation and the rewards of discipleship; but in fact, Jesus actually emphasized the opposite. He never promised the proverbial "Rose Garden." Instead, he warned of hardships and obligations. He was honest about the disadvantages of being a Christian. Listen: "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." "They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, a time is coming when anyone who kills you will think he is offering a service to God. I have told you this, so that when the time comes you will remember that I warned you . . ." (John 15:19, and 16:2,4).

There is no "easy believism." Jesus said, "Not everyone who says to me, `Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven" (Matt. 7:21).

God expects great things of us. We have enormous responsibilities. We are here for a purpose. Paul said, "Do you not know that . . . you are not your own? . . . therefore glorify God . . ." (I Cor. 6:19-20).

A Japanese missionary was going home one night when he saw a would-be-suicide climb up on a bridge and jump into the river. The missionary dived in, dragged him out, took him home, nursed him back to health, fed him and found him a job.

Then, he said, "You can stay here or you can live elsewhere; but remember this, from now on your life no longer belongs to you. I saved it, so it belongs to me. Therefore, you must report to me regularly on what you've been doing with `my life.' " Surprisingly, the man made good. He became a successful professional. Years later, he finally got up the courage to ask his benefactor a question. "I know you saved me from death and helped me tremendously; but where did you get the notion that my life no longer belongs to me?" "That's not a notion," the Japanese missionary replied. "That's the truth. In fact, my life doesn't really belong to me. It was given to me by God and I must stand before him and tell him what I've done with it!" Paul said, "He died for all, that they who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf" (II Cor. 5:15).

So, what are you doing with the life God has given you? Are you using all of your time, talents, energy and opportunities in His service?
(WC1988)
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This entry is dedicated to the man i hurt and to myself:

Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Survive a Break Up
Breaking up is always painful. Here are some suggestions to help you get through it.

Enlarge ImageBreak ups are never easy. You are a bundle of jealous, hurt, angry, resentful emotions. Your mood can swing from depression to bitter anger. The only thing you seem to think about is what went wrong, can I get him/her back or I’ll show him/her. The main theme in your life is ‘How can I feel better right NOW?’ Here are some suggestions that I hope will help.



1.Friends and Family. I know this may seem obvious but lean on your friends and family. Spend time doing things together, not just talking and thinking about the break up. If this isn’t enough, you may consider a support group or counseling.


2.Resist the urge to beg. You want them back but not at any price. At the time it may seem the right thing to do but think about it. In the long run they will lose respect for you. This doesn’t mean don’t try to work things out. If there is a chance you can work things out, go for it. However, if your partner has made it clear that in their eyes, the relationship is over, begging will not help and may hurt the situation.


3.Make a change in your life. Find a new way to spend your time. Take a class, join a gym, adopt a pet, or volunteer. Do anything that will make you feel good about yourself. Your ego is probably feeling bruised right now. Find a way to counteract that.


4.Understand your mistakes but also realize that you are not a failure. Don’t beat yourself up. If you made mistakes, then yes, learn from them but dwelling on what might have been won’t help. It takes two to make a relationship, it also takes two to end one. You weren’t the only one who made mistakes. It may not seem useful to you now, but a lot of times the things you learned from this experience will make your next relationship stronger, as long as you make the necessary changes.


5.Start Dating. You won’t feel like it at first, but don’t stay away from other people for an extended period of time. Going out with other people can help the healing process and boast your ego.


6.Don’t fall prey to others. There will be people trying to sell you this or that, guaranteed to win back your partner. Don’t let people take advantage of you while you are vulnerable. If you do buy something, understand that while there is a chance it could help, there is also a chance that it won’t.


7.Take up a hobby. Learn something new. There is probably something you’ve always wanted to try but never had the time. You have the time, do it.


8.Don’t rush into another relationship. While starting to date can help you feel better, it’s not a good idea to rush right into another relationship. Take time to heal before making any commitments or someone will probably end up getting hurt.


9.Avoid dwelling on it. I know it’s impossible not to think about it, but, if you find yourself doing so for an extended period of time, find a way to take your mind off of it. Call a friend; go to the gym, whatever comes to mind. If nothing seems to work, try this: Make a list of reasons why you are better off now. This could include I have time to do the things I want to do. I can date anyone I want to. I can find a partner who will appreciate me the way I am and stop wasting time on a doomed relationship. Think about the things they did that drove you crazy, because there are some. Don’t look back with rose colored glasses and only remember the good things. Don’t have the idea in your head that if only we were back together I would be happy. Wrong. Wouldn’t they have a lot to answer for if you did get back together? Leaving you was probably the biggest mistake they will ever make. Let them dwell on it, you move on!


10.Build your ego. I’ve touched on this already but it is very important. Find ways to feel better about yourself. This could be anything from getting a haircut to buying some new clothes. You could take a class on self improvement. If nothing else, you should do this: Make a list of things that make you a great person. Don’t sit there and tell me you can’t think of anything. I don’t buy it. Try again. Are you kind? Patient? Intelligent? Cook like a pro? Can fix anything? There are things that make you great. WRITE them down and whenever you feel low, read your list and add to it. You are you and you are great so don’t let anyone ever make you feel that you aren’t.

Reflection:
This is going to be a tough phase for me, a hardship which i thought God would never let me undergo again. But He's the Almighty, He knows we've the capability to stand up after this fall; and we will learn and mature from this. I am grateful and appreciative of the beautiful memories shared. Thank God there's no cursing or blaming ending but peace and understanding; God bless you Darling (and this will be response to your 'this will be the last time i call u Darling, take care) i will miss you terribly for this few days, and i hope time will heal our wounds asap. Well, kep in touch, my brother-in-christ~! =)

Q & A session with Reverend 江

Here are some questions we asked Reverend Jiang last Sunday:

1. How to know if he's the one:
Answer: Chemistry! If one part keeps one emitting the electric, but the other one didn't plug onto to switch, in this case, either no feel or wrong timing, then it's not God's will. For God will give both the magnifying electrical shot if it's a meant-to-be relationship. :)

Reflection: Aha, that answers my question. Of cuz, being in a relationship means more than just the electrical feel. That explains why when we've a crush on someone but he's not; and when he is, we're not. Timing plays such vital role here :) Once both party switches on the switch, then there comes commitment, trust and tolerance. Hm..something which i am still learning and learning :)

2. How to share gospel, especially to non-believers like family and friends?

Answer: Have you portray your christ-like image? Did you help your mom with the dishes? Or is laziness and disobedience outshines your devotion to Christ. Think about it, once you 'turn over a new leaf' and portray the image of a Christian lady, then there's no need to purposely force/share the gospel; for others will see the positive changes in you and come to you. They will be drawn to God and not driven.

Reflection: Gohmenazai dada n mom. I've not been such a good obedient daughter afterall; guess i should be more pro-active and take the iniatiative to do the housework, willingly and .. sometimes, it still daunts me to tell others i'm a christian, i've not baptist nor have i officially accepted christ. In my heart, i do believe in God, Jesus and the holy spirit. But do i portray such good image? not only as a christian, but even as a teacher to be. hm.. same answer, i'm still learning, growing up as the days pass :)

3: If God so loved the world, why does He give such pain and hardship to His people?

Answer: For them to appreciate life more and grow wiser from the lesson.

Reflection: Do i love hardship? NO! i don't, given a choice, would you want to be sick or met with an accident just because you'll be careful on the road? Guess some people just need to learn the hard way. Yes, i agree to a certain extend that if we encounter hardship, we should take it the positive way, see the light in the outcome; there got to be two sides of the coin. For example, i didn't get the internship to Taiwan last holidays, but i get to attend the Life Camp. I strongly believe that 3D2Ns Life Game taught me more than 2-3 months internship.


Daily Reflection:
Early at dinner today, my friend revealed that some of my classmates will add 'Silverin Yiing likes this' at their Facebook comments. Reason? For I'm positive, even their complaints i'll try to give encouragements and motivation. She asked if i'm angry for they say so. Angry over such compliments? No way! :) i admit i am HAPPY (Genuinely happy)when i'm positive. I believe students will enjoy the class if the teacher smiles and gives words of encouragement instead of pulling a long face and give boring lecture. However, those who really know me, will know i;ve my emotional sides too. *wink wink*

Wedding Toast

oh, my fingers don't wanna stop typing just yet. Since when did the love for blogging reborn? Anyway, there's something that keeps on probing in my mind: Why did Mr Big leave Carrie for Natashia? Carrie is gorgeous, fabulous, and a journalist! but Natashia is 26, young talented and Mr Big feels she's the one. But can Mr Big forget Carrie? I know Carrie still lingers on her past, how can she not? Oh...I shall write my second Special Occasion Speech, entitled "Farewell, my love"

So cliche~ How come i never thought of the idea of farewell to a bf? I've once written a farewell love letter to my ex. (Ps, Andrew, you are not reading this, if you are, just bear in mind it's for coursework purposes. :P) should i? Will the past memories came back haunting me?

Never try never know. Here comes the 10 fingers, doing their magic, i hope.

Ahem...

3
2
1

Hey, hi, i mean, hello

Can't, i can't. it's a public speaking. the target group is a group of audience!! not just one person, D person who once left a scar on your heart. Thank God it is beautifully patched up now :) Nah, I've no ilham nor desire to revisit the past. Special Occasion, hm..since when breaking up is a special occasion worth celebrate? In a way, it is. Without breakup, we would not meet the right one, who has been there patiently waiting for us. How glad am I to be born a lady. Lolx Yiing, we are in the new millineum, and you are still there thinking guys should make the first move? You bet I am way that traditional! :P

Eliminate 2, skip to 3 - wedding toast. I bet half of my classmates will be doing this topic. Why not? since it is such a joyous occasion! Hm, i wonder why my sis didn't invite me to do her wedding toast? mayb it's not our Chinese culture.

Wine glass and spoon, ready your position, here we go, 3, 2, 1

"
Ladies and gentleman, may i have your attention.
Ahem. thank you.

We are all gathered here today to celebrate the joyous occasion of my beloved sister, Chin Ling and her handsome husband, Yew Kim. first Yam Seng, to my new family member! yam Senggggggggggg...

I remembered the first time my sister mentioned bout his existance, it's on a quiet night when i thought sis is asleep as she is the one who usually switches off the light. Out of no where, she popped out this question "Do you ever receive roses? from a guy?"

I was in form 2 that time, and she, Lower Six. Shocked and proudly, i replied 'Yes, the fake paper rose in our cupboard over there. Why?'

'Oh, yeah, but real ones?'

'Erm, ... no, yet.'

'What will you do if you receive a bouquet of roses from a guy?'

'Who is he sis? someone who has a crush on you? what's his name? handsome? your classmate?"

I started to bombared questions to sis, I am so happy for her. for that guy is her first bf, the only one, and old wine tastes better, they got married today, after 9 years of courtship. No breakups, Amen to that, yes to some disagreements.

Sis thought me that no relationships are smooth sailing. There are times when we women have to voice out our opinions. And buying that new house, the house some of you went to this morning, how is it? Lovely? I exceptionally love it! Though it's not some big mansion, but it's from their own money. At the age of 28, both sister and my brother-in-law have saved enough for the downpayment and for this marriage. This is just one part which i admire about my sister and brother-in-law.

From this, I learnt, and wish all who are singles or getting married soon, having goals is important, be it in your life or relationship. Before the food gets cold, I shall end this wedding toast with another 2 yam sengs. Let's thank both side's parents for their marvellous and respected brought up teachings for this married couple. Yam SengGGGGGGGGGGGGGggggggggggggg

Lastly, with a joyous cheer, let's wish this newly weds a life overflowed with true love, devotion and may you two give Lau's family a future generation soon! YAm Sengggggggggggggggggggggg~





Thank you! "

wAh, wait till my sister see this. She's a TESL teacher too, currently transferred out to SMK Bako. she's always been my mentor, see, i took up TESL too, so you can see how much i wanna follow her footsteps. Like our Dr Nordin said, the eldest are most organized and responsible ones. Being the youngest, does it mean, it's really a God given privilege to be manja? Haha..

Peace be with you all =)

P/s we can send draft to Pn Nurliza, right? :)

Draft for Special Occasion Public Speaking 1

Yes, it's me writing again after the previous blog sent 5 seconds ago. This time i shall be more focus: What topic for my special occasion Public Speaking?

I've thought of a few:
1. Graduation!
2. Farewell.
3. Wedding Toast!

Graduation! yes, from this, you can hv an idea of how much i yearn to finish my studies and go home. Home? Will i be that lucky to be posted back home? I've many friends who wished to be posted away from home. Since God is so good, can you please fulfill our little wishes? Random thought of my graduaton speech:

"Finally, finally it's the BiG Day! The day I, and most of us, yearn for for the past 6 years. Congratulations to all my 45 coursemates and me myself, for succeeding in our 6 years educational studies. Are you all ready for the teaching life in reality? Mind you, there will be no more micro teaching but real life teaching! No more friendly classmates faking as students but real naughty and noisy bunch of adorable students! No more countless edited lesson plans but simple and straight to the principal's office's BOOK. Aha, and not more observation by our lecturers but our students' performance will reflect our teachings. (Have I reached 3 minutes? No?)

Today, i am proud to stand here, receiving this 'pelajar cemerlang' award (angan-angan, ignore me:P). Thanks to IPG KTI and UPM, thanks to all my beloved lecturers, namely Miss Ratha, the most popular and well-respected lecturer, Puan Saleena, though you have left us, but you are one of my role-model and always will be, Miss Loh, the KJ who taught me how to walk and eat and speak like a gentle lady, our new KJ, Puan Nurliza, who gave me a very good first impression as you didn't scold me for being absent for one week, Miss Prema, who is so dedicated and helpful, Miss Nenny, bubbly and easy-going and many more. If time allows, I would like to thank my childhood, primary and secondary teachers who have made a good impact on my life as a teacher. (Time keeper, how much time have i left?)

My fellow friends, there are many teachers in my life whom have really touched my life. I am sure there are countless if not one or two teachers who, too, have leave memorable memories in yours. Let us continue to pray for these teachers who have bring light to the world. Without you, who are we? Without your guidance, will this batch of B.Ed TESL cohort 4 developed into such teacher-like teachers? Ha, take that as positive remark my dear friends. You have changed, we all, have totally changed, from wearing hot pants out shopping to decent long pants and well-covered shoes. That's a joke. Come'on, we are human beings. And for that, i will end my speech with a 'Let's Celebrate!' See you guys at the Euphoria for our graduation party! Yes, Puan Nurliza and readers, you are invited too! 10pm sharp, dress as you like, sway the body as you wish, unleash the 6 yrs entrapment to your max, for tonight's photo will NOT be uploaded to Facebook~! With that, thank you, each and everyone of you, for making my 6 years journey colourful and memorable~ "

Gee, I've written out my speech!! What do you think? Delete the last part? But it's totally what's on my mind when my fingers typed it out..HAHA! One task down, another occasion to go...Farewell or birthday? Hey, this falls under farewell or graduation?Suddenly it seems like..wadever~ Another episode of S&C then i'll think bout it. Peace!

self conflict haha!

yay, Captivate JB called. Yes, i am bored to the extend that i need to find part time job. since money is never enough and i felt horrible eating, sleeping and watching movie, i dialed D number. is it real that alot of ppl wn this kind of 'relaxing' days? hm...

Yiing wake up! u shud b studyin! exam is jz 2 weeks later.
exam? oh, exam.
For God's sake, your result dropped last sem due to part time working!
nah, it's cuz im lazy n i never reli like BM subjs.
You are a teacher-to-be in less than a year, how can you be lazy?
Why can't I? Teacher is jz normal occupation.
Aha, coming from you who hv passion for teaching?
Yes, i do love teaching. but argh...one year, why is this one year so long?

Eeek..self-questioning-and-answering. This is the effect of staying too long in the room.Hm, calm down, take a deep breath. Reflect.

Why am I here?
Final year, study, graduate on time.

Why do I want to be here?
Cuz teaching will be my profession, in order word, for survival.

Can you cope with your studies if you work?
I hope so, in fact, i manage my time better when i work. cuz i know i hv to study, n working allows me to meet new friends n get out of these 4 walls.

What about church? You willing to give up sunday mass for RM100?
I will attend church, work starts at 12 noon. Yes, i might miss the fellowship..hm..

Do you really need the money?
No. i'm jz bored of staying in.

You can revise!
But no one is..lame excuses i know.

Ahem, pardon my angel-devil thoughts. Just feel like typing out what's on my mind. then when i look back one day when im bored or sad, i might laugh over it. that time, i might hv bigger problems and get sick of working, n i'll look back and ponder, why the **** do i wan to work when i get to REST? (consequences of overdosage of Sex and the city)

Tat'll be another chapter of life. :)

i miss home ....

i miss home....
Just 2 weeks back in IPG Kampus Temenggong Ibrahim, Johor Bahru, i've started to miss home...honestly, i can't wait for this final year to finish. 6 years!! that's very long, i'm not doing medicine or architect.

i realized that's just emotional rush. 6 years is not that long. how much have i achieved? Have I grown up into a more matured lady? hm..i pleated my hair 5 years ago, this morning i still play with it. :P guess the kiddy-ness in me is still thr.

back to school is a good feeling. i've settled down with my new roommate, cynthia. she's from kuching too. very funny, all of us have changed roommates. guess it's all in His plans.

wanna share one testimony here: Praise the Lord~ our ketua jabatan actually accepted our letter of absence of 1 week (Maktab is extremely particular about absenties since the new pengarah took over) without much questioning. and the best part is that she told KO to put present for our one week attendace~!! This entry is not to encourage others or allow myself to skip more classes, but that...all glory to Him =)

I miss home..
thought updating my blog or fb or indulge myself in movies will bring the homesickness away, but it remains..sobx..hari raya, faster approach~

but there are times when i'm afraid the time will fly very fast, because that means we're near to posting~ posting!! this is the scary part about teaching, mayb not all that scary. but the thought of leaving home, again, for God knows how many years, and where this time, can bring tears to my eyes...i can't imagine myself being posted to somewhere deep and unfamiliar like the jungles of pahang or the mountains of sabah...yes, i love nature, going for a 5 days vacation is fun, but 5 years?! please take my fear away...i salute my seniors for taking their responsibilities with such courage =) mayb this final year is the year for me to equip myself to face the reality of working life..

i miss home..