countdown...20 days

what...20 days left?
lol...
Thank You God~
Little preparations here and there.
A simple wedding is what I hope for...
from a 20 tables it ballooned twice the number.

Hope all goes well.
The most stressful part is really what majority agreed on:
confirmation of guests.
It's those hanging and uncertain ones that frustrates the most

Initially I was really disappointed
especially my close friends
I really thought they would come
just as how I took CRK, took the boat, taxi, flight to attend their big day

Times are hard I guess
They say I've lots of friends
I am thankful for that
but when the time is nearing
...haha..

nearing..
then I realized,
it's really not a big deal la
haha.
just a few hours event ma...
why bother to stress myself out..

this entry is merely for me to de-stress, unwind and record down my current feelings
no offense ya

Me,
my biggest flow is I still tend to say the wrong things
I've explained many times that I never meant any harm or being offensive
just sometimes, shit happens
so..please forgive me if what I've said or done offended you.

growing up....
bound to have lots of expectations.

Oh ya
my greatest joy,
apart from marrying the man who truly loves me
would be.....
deng deng
I'm coming home!!

Yes!
I got my transfer home....
Gotta record this feeling: touched, I teared.

Most of those who knew I got my transfer
expressed their envy
I would certainly hope it's not jealousy
nor ...

it's a mixed feelings
really
a buddy who has a child
didn't get it
I felt so down for her
I don't know what to say
I tried to be quiet
I didn't brag the Tahniah screenshot
just couldn't...

but at the same time
I couldn't praise our Lord Al-mighty enough

God
I believe You love each and everyone of us
I know You've the best timing for us
I'm so thankful You were with me throughout my 4 years 11 months at Kapit
there were sad depressing days
countless nights of crying myself to sleep
there were those literally impromptu decisions to go home
the minute the taxi arrived
instead of the agreed decision to turn left
back to Sibu for STU Kapit's World Teachers' Day
I chose right
heading to Sarikei
and took my first boat ride home

then
there was that extreme home sickness
when the flights home were fully booked
prices shot up to RM500-600 per trip
yet I dragged my legs
and walked to the wharf
called bro F to book a bus ticket for me
and there was I
my first time taking the night bus home

I love my kids
my students
but I'm not as wonderful in expressing my love to them
I wish I'll improve on my social skill
especially have the courage
to sit down and talk to them
one by one

yes
it requires time
but these kids
they will just be a passenger in my life
as a teacher
I have the golden opportunity
to share lots to them
to tell them about God
to motivate them to excel in life
that life out of Kapit can be so rich
that life is not just about sex
that one careless mistake might rob you off your bright future
that broken families will bring scar to your children
that it takes a lot of commitment to build a family
a happy family will lead to a progressive community
then a developed country

many are frustrated with the system
many complained
many whined
many left
for they believed the pasture at the other side is greener
but what about our people
your nation

who will help our country if you guys left
shouldn't we all stay as one

then
I realized
the world is your oyster
the world can be so beautiful
rich with culture
we are not just destined to be in our comfort zone
it is those little adventures
that make our life more exciting
more colourful
richer
meaningful


Now that I'm going to be a wife soon
legally, on paper, 9 months dy
will I have to change a lot?
visited a lighting shop last night
the lights go by hundred and thousand of ringgits
that's my monthly salary Mr
not to mention
photography
makeup
tables
decoration
etc
We know our financial stand
Thank God
It's gonna be a simple wedding
not inclined to have a fanciful one
mainly because money is a concern
but most importantly
I really don't see a need
it's just for a few hours
but it will generate income for those event planners
but the wastage that follows
my....
reminded me of my house-moving

lol
I couldn't have cope without
my parents and aunt
4 years 11 months
thus I'm not eligible to claim for transfer shipping
it's funny how realistic people can be
no one wanna do this small 'business'
hahahhaha
I was hurt
and sadden by how realistic people can be

then
God reminded me He's in control
He sent angels
thank you Sis Ai Lian and Bro Zhang Ping
bro Frederick
you guys walked your preaching
You've shown me that in this materialistic world
kindness still exist

I'm watching in awe
how your sincerity
and love
have be triple folded back in the form of blessings to your loved ones

Our God is truly awesome
Hopefully I'll get to serve in Your ministries
looking forward to be part of the Christian Club teacher
hope to take up Disciple Class too

20 days later
I'll be waking up to a man sleeping next to me
that,
makes me REALY nervous
.....
and yes
excited!

Peace and love
Yiing :D

Merepek luahan hati :P

Cuba blog dalam Malay.

12 Oktober 2016, hari Rabu. Cuaca yang amat panas. PT3 baru habis hari. Rasa lega dan sunyi. Maksudnya cuti akhir tahun akan tiba tidak lama lagi. Minggu depan saya akan pergi cascade CEFR kat IPG Rajang. Sedih mat kali ni bukan kat Kuching.

Bagaimana orang lain boleh hidup keseorangan tanpa keluarga di sisi? Hatiku teramat sebak. Semalam berjumpa dengan pengetua. Mdm baik orangnya. Dia telah menyokong perpindahan ku kali ini. Namun,beliau juga menegaskan bahawa antara Semry dan saya, cuma satu cikgu Inggeris boleh pergi. I senyum kerana faham Semry dah lama kat sekolah ni. 6 tahun. I cuma 5 tahun.

Bolehkan Tuhan menghantar kami berdua balik ke kampung halaman?

Bukan Kapit tak bagus. Bagus. Manah. Kapit manah. Pemandangan cantik. Pelajar kira baik. Rakan sekerja pun saya tidah komplain. Tapi...I rindu sangat rumah la Tuhan. Apa maknanya kerja siang, petang, malam hanya untuk makan seorang diri, berhadapan kaca....aduhai...

I tahu banyak lagi yang lebih susah. Tu yang ada anak berjauhan dengan ibu...Bolehkan saya mementingkan diri kali ni...bunyi macam I ada kuasa hantar diriku balik. Ya...I ingat dulu temu duga, beria-ia I janji tak kira mana-mana kerajaan hantarku pergi mengajar, I akan pergi..namun, dah 5 tahun Tuhan...I rindu rumah...suami juga rindukanku...berapa banyak kalikah saya berpeluang bersama-sama ibu-bapa yang kian uzur?

Tuhan, panjangkan umur ibubapa dan ibubapa mertuaku... *menangis* meh~

perempuan kan...perlulah luahkan supaya rasa selesa. Adakah perempuan lain menangis macamku? haha. Jika kamu terbaca, janganlah pandang rendah terhadapku...kerana kan ada pepatah yang berbunyi, mereka yang menangis adalah yang telah lama tabah.

wahaha...

hari Rabu...kalau bukan untuk kelas malam bimbingan SPM, I dah pergi menghadiri fellowship....rindu juga adir-beradik kat sana...kenapalah tiba-tiba mahu dua cikgu ajar satu jam...yang buat cadangan tu, senang bagimu tukar-tukar. tetapi kerana satu jam tu, ..haigz..siapa suruh diri bukan yang duduk tinggi atas sana.

Begitulah lumrah hidup. Jika kamu berkuasa, suaramu akan didengar. Adakah senang bagi kami duduk jawatan atas? Haha...saya tak kisah semua tu pun. Jujurnya, I hanya mahu jadi guru yang biasa, masuk kerja pukul 6:50am, balik 12:25pm....rehat, baca buka atau tengok wayang kegemaran...kenapalah pula I berbunga-bunga pergi melanjutkan pelajaran lagi? Tak bosan kah asyik belajar? Kan saya dah letih dan rasa stress bila giliran berucap untuk Toastmasters atau menganjurkan aktiviti untuk STU, buat apa saya sendiri yang mengundang semua ni? Yiing Yiing...kadang kala saya memang tidak faham mu la. Adakah kamu gembira buat semua ni? Kan kamu suka tidur, kenapalah tak tidur sahaja....petang nanti, pergi jalan jalan menghayati waktu senja kat wharf ok? Aman damai kat sisir sungai tu....ya...patutlah pergi berehat kejap, hayati alam sekitar.

Sabtu ni perlu turun ke Sibu...pertandingan ucapan lagi. Masih tidak puas hati dengan skrip ku..apakah tajuk yang boleh saya kongsikan kali ini? perlu kelakar lagi. Tak faham kenapa I dipilih sebagai tempat ketiga. Haigz..syukurlah Tuhan bagi hadiah kan. Tak sia-sia ibubapa dan suami datang support.

Oh no, passport ku! Baik call bapa sediakan sebelum mereka melancong ke luar negara. Yeap, hujung bulan ni I akan pergi menghadiri Toastmasters D87 Brunei Conference. Weee! Konferensi pertamaku di luar negara! lol...kononnya, luar negara! Dah bertahun-tahun lamanya ku tak lawat Brunei...

sekadar ini sahaja luahan hatiku kali ini....harap dapat ilham untuk penulisan nanti...wahai pelajar SPM 2016, jika cikgu betul-betul pindah hujung tahun ni, jangan lupa bagitau keputusan SPM mu kpd cikgu ya..cikgu juga ingin tahu apa rancangan mu lepas SPM.. hidup kita, berratus juta orang dalam dunia, tapi kita ditakdir bertemu dan berkenalan, dah kira jodoh kan?

Rindu pula rakan-rakan seperjuanganku. I dah menjemput sahabat handai yang I rindu...kecewa juga segelintir yang tidak akan hadir. tak apalah, janji sihat dan sejahtera! Yang akan datang, jutaan terima kasih didahalui, berkati perjalanan mu....

I fikir kebanyakan perempuan akan idamkan perkahwinan mereka, I juga, sejak kecil... haha. Tak percaya, dalam dua bulan lagi, saya akan memakai gown putih dan angkat sumpah saling mencintai dengan suamiku di depan Tuhan. Perjalanan kasih antara kami berdua dikira diberkati Tuhan...mujur hanyalah sikit gelombang dan kami berjaya menempuhinya, kebanyakan masa dengan pertolongan Tuhan yang maha-esa dan maha-penyayang!

Walaupun idaman perkhawinan di tepi pantai tidak direalisasikan, terpaksalah juga tunduk kepada hakikat....selain kos perbelanjaan yang kemungkinan 10 kali ganda, juga, tidak banyak tetamu yang gemar pandu begitu jauh hanya untuk satu makan malam. hahaha. Terima kasih juga kepada bapa mertuaku yang tempah bridal studio dan hotel untuk wedding reception...Gembira juga lihat gambar-gambar yang tertangkap. Juga bersyukur kerana pakej yang diambil tidak terlampau mahal. haha. Dua tahun dari sekarang, ataupun satu tahun kemudian,berapa banyak pasangan yang akan mengeluarkan album untuk menghayatinya? haha... Mencecah usia hujung dua-puluhan..haha..hidupmu, gembirakah? :)

Updates =)

JOM BACA 10 Minit Kempen.

Sejiwa Senada program. I've not painted for a long time. Fun!

Overslept of Easter Sunday. Regretted not present for Abel's 5:30am lead praise and worship... Came to this Iban Service next to my school. Packed. Paham mimit je. haha.

Another weekend hike with Ah Chan and Sim. Old colleagues Nong, Yun and Wong, I miss you guys badly...

Lots of memory on this valley, at this Bukit Goram. 5th year, left me alone in Kapit. Sobx.

While waiting for the sun to set, we had a game of Scrabbles. With student Ferniewena Wong Li Fa. Such a sweet girl. Companion for hiking.

Kolo Mee at Kapit. Missed home terribly then. RM3.50, temporarily eased my sadness. kiddo. haha.

UCTS. Was here in 2014, PLC conference, presenting my paper 'Remedial Instruction'. How time flies.

SMK Methodist, a cluster school in Sibu. Attended the Debate Adjudicator Training Course, self funded RM100 registration fees. It was a Saturday, 16th April and the school was packed with students, actively carrying out their co-curricular activities. Wonder if I can cope with schools in town after I'm transferred home.

Spent two nights here at Kingwood Hotel with Yvonne and Kia Miang. Busy days, little pillow talk. haha.

What a memorable experience. Toastmasters International Speech Area Contest, presented on "Life Game" at Sibu.

Black out in Kapit. Thanks Josephine for the inviting me over for dinner. At least I'm not alone in the dark.

Youth day for Hock Ing Methodist Church Kapit. Glad to these teenagers growing strong in faith =)

Pen Pal 3.0 is going on strong still. Can't believe we persisted on this project for three consecutive years =)

30 April 2016, Saturday. I'm home, again! =)   

Hello Bloggie! It's so good to be home. Dad is having his afternoon nap. Mom just came home from work. Waiting for hubby to end his class. Looking forward to dinner with Pa and Ma. Pa and Ma..haha...hope I won't feel awkward addressing them tonight. Can't wait for another two nieces/nephews to arrive! Yeap, life is really worth thankful for. It has been an exhaustive term, and my body ain't as strong as before. Easily tired especially during period, my legs will go weak. Not a good sign...sobx. submitted my application for transfer. There's vacancy for English teacher at SMK Kuching High next month. Praying fervently I'll get it. but with so many teachers aiming to come to the city, what are my chances? Only YOU have the power Lord. Please send me home this time, if it's Your will. Joining mom in the living room, Korean Drama..haha. Take care all! Wish everyone's well and happy out there. Remember to count our blessings and be a blessing to those around you. haha. Konon, mottoku tahun ini. Cheers!