Monday, November 28, 2016

countdown...20 days

what...20 days left?
Thank You God~
Little preparations here and there.
A simple wedding is what I hope for...
from a 20 tables it ballooned twice the number.

Hope all goes well.
The most stressful part is really what majority agreed on:
confirmation of guests.
It's those hanging and uncertain ones that frustrates the most

Initially I was really disappointed
especially my close friends
I really thought they would come
just as how I took CRK, took the boat, taxi, flight to attend their big day

Times are hard I guess
They say I've lots of friends
I am thankful for that
but when the time is nearing

then I realized,
it's really not a big deal la
just a few hours event ma...
why bother to stress myself out..

this entry is merely for me to de-stress, unwind and record down my current feelings
no offense ya

my biggest flow is I still tend to say the wrong things
I've explained many times that I never meant any harm or being offensive
just sometimes, shit happens
so..please forgive me if what I've said or done offended you.

growing up....
bound to have lots of expectations.

Oh ya
my greatest joy,
apart from marrying the man who truly loves me
would be.....
deng deng
I'm coming home!!

I got my transfer home....
Gotta record this feeling: touched, I teared.

Most of those who knew I got my transfer
expressed their envy
I would certainly hope it's not jealousy
nor ...

it's a mixed feelings
a buddy who has a child
didn't get it
I felt so down for her
I don't know what to say
I tried to be quiet
I didn't brag the Tahniah screenshot
just couldn't...

but at the same time
I couldn't praise our Lord Al-mighty enough

I believe You love each and everyone of us
I know You've the best timing for us
I'm so thankful You were with me throughout my 4 years 11 months at Kapit
there were sad depressing days
countless nights of crying myself to sleep
there were those literally impromptu decisions to go home
the minute the taxi arrived
instead of the agreed decision to turn left
back to Sibu for STU Kapit's World Teachers' Day
I chose right
heading to Sarikei
and took my first boat ride home

there was that extreme home sickness
when the flights home were fully booked
prices shot up to RM500-600 per trip
yet I dragged my legs
and walked to the wharf
called bro F to book a bus ticket for me
and there was I
my first time taking the night bus home

I love my kids
my students
but I'm not as wonderful in expressing my love to them
I wish I'll improve on my social skill
especially have the courage
to sit down and talk to them
one by one

it requires time
but these kids
they will just be a passenger in my life
as a teacher
I have the golden opportunity
to share lots to them
to tell them about God
to motivate them to excel in life
that life out of Kapit can be so rich
that life is not just about sex
that one careless mistake might rob you off your bright future
that broken families will bring scar to your children
that it takes a lot of commitment to build a family
a happy family will lead to a progressive community
then a developed country

many are frustrated with the system
many complained
many whined
many left
for they believed the pasture at the other side is greener
but what about our people
your nation

who will help our country if you guys left
shouldn't we all stay as one

I realized
the world is your oyster
the world can be so beautiful
rich with culture
we are not just destined to be in our comfort zone
it is those little adventures
that make our life more exciting
more colourful

Now that I'm going to be a wife soon
legally, on paper, 9 months dy
will I have to change a lot?
visited a lighting shop last night
the lights go by hundred and thousand of ringgits
that's my monthly salary Mr
not to mention
We know our financial stand
Thank God
It's gonna be a simple wedding
not inclined to have a fanciful one
mainly because money is a concern
but most importantly
I really don't see a need
it's just for a few hours
but it will generate income for those event planners
but the wastage that follows
reminded me of my house-moving

I couldn't have cope without
my parents and aunt
4 years 11 months
thus I'm not eligible to claim for transfer shipping
it's funny how realistic people can be
no one wanna do this small 'business'
I was hurt
and sadden by how realistic people can be

God reminded me He's in control
He sent angels
thank you Sis Ai Lian and Bro Zhang Ping
bro Frederick
you guys walked your preaching
You've shown me that in this materialistic world
kindness still exist

I'm watching in awe
how your sincerity
and love
have be triple folded back in the form of blessings to your loved ones

Our God is truly awesome
Hopefully I'll get to serve in Your ministries
looking forward to be part of the Christian Club teacher
hope to take up Disciple Class too

20 days later
I'll be waking up to a man sleeping next to me
makes me REALY nervous
and yes

Peace and love
Yiing :D

No comments:

Post a Comment