Monday, August 6, 2012


1) Given a choice, would you want to be seen as a matured lady/man or a young-at-heart person?

2) Is it possible to strike a balance between being matured yet naive at the same time?

Maturity is a psychological term used to indicate how a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctive, and is not determined by one's age. Maturity also encompasses being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act appropriately, according to the situation and the culture of the society one lives in.[1]
Adult development and maturity theories include the purpose in life concept, in which maturity emphasizes a clear comprehension of life's purpose, directedness, and intentionality which, contributes to the feeling that life is meaningful.[2

(Source: Wikipedia)

Entering the working world, I've to accept the fact that I'm no longer a student but a teacher. Though I might only be few years older than them, I no longer have the privilege nor excuse to be irresponsible. Not only do I have to manage my emotions (like scolding students to vent anger, or be easily hurt and discouraged by their failures/misconducts), I've to be careful with my actions and words.

An example, last month, I brought my remove class students to the library. The next day, they were banned from going to the library as 2 chairs were broken. I did not realize nor hear any noises but they were being accused as the culprits. The kids denied and expressed their dissatisfaction, '什么不好的都是我们做的啦!" I trusted they didn't do it and I regretted not standing up for them simply because I dislike conflicts with colleagues. Worse, when they didn't return me my Toilet Pass, I accused them of stealing. They showed the innocent faces but some grinned mischievously. Ah little guys really make me...alive! I could have misplaced or it might be other class' students who took it. 2 weeks passed, no sign of that pass still.

Back to the topic of maturity.  According to Kevin Everett, there are 6 levels of maturity.

#1 Basic Emotional Responsibility : 'You....!!' to 'I...'
#2 Emotional Honesty : self understanding and acceptance
#3 Emotional Openness : Freedom to express emotions without the need to suppress it
#4 Emotional Assertiveness : Ability to ASK and RECEIVE nurturing needs from self and others
#5 Emotional Understanding : understanding cause and effects of responsibility & irresponsibility
#6 Emotional Detachment : remain unaffected by the Blame Game, and experience unconditional love from their enemies.


Learning is indeed a life long process. Which level are you at? Personally, I think I'm pacing up and down in those levels. There are times when I seek nurturing from others, there are victorious moments when I remain unaffected by the Blame Game, yet there are times when I failed in Basic Emotional Responsibility.

Now we know that maturity is not defined by age and it can be learned, why not upgrade our self worth by being matured?

Emotional maturity means
we will have a healthy
self-concept not
thinking too highly or
too lowly of ourselves.

(Below Source:

 What are the characteristics of Maturity?

1) Emotional Maturity : Spiritual maturity goes hand in hand with EM (rship with others)
    * We were created for relationships.

2) Being Personally Responsible : ....neither overreacting or under-reacting.
      *  As John Powell so eloquently said, "We defend our dishonesty on the grounds that it may hurt another person and then, having rationalized our phoniness into nobility, we settle for superficial relationships." 

3) Personal Honesty. Hidden agendas (consciously or unconsciously) can cause people to be disgustingly manipulative.

4) Spiritual Maturity. Think of Mary (relating to Jesus) and Martha (workaholic, keeping busy to avoid painful issues in life) . 

5) Love, Unconditional Love. We don't fix people or give them unsolicited advice but be there, listen and accept them though we do not agree to their manner of life.




  1. My toilet pass is missing within the first week I used it. No one returned it to me either. So now students go out at their own risk. So far, they did not get into trouble.

  2. Everybody has weaknesses in their emotional armour. Not everybody can be mature all the time.
    I keep things simple. I'm being myself. I admit to myself my weaknesses & I work towards improving on them.
    Meanwhile, I enjoy my youth & all it's perks!

  3. Yvonne, same here. My kids went out without pass and they come back safe, Amen :P

    Jarod, no wonder you remain youthful despite years in the jungle =)